Family will always be there no matter what
by Carre
Summary: So Seb and Jon are Clary's older brothers. Jace and Clary, Simon and Iz, Magnus and Alec, they have all known each other since they were in middle school
1. Chapter 1

Clary pov

I have two older brothers. Sebastian and Jonathan, or Jon and Seb. We live in New York. We are all in collage. Seb is a senior in collage Jon is a Junior and I am a Sophomore. We share a apartment with Magnus Bane, Simon Lewis, Isabelle Lightwood, her brothers Alec and Jace. We all have our own rooms. Mine is the attic. Our house is more like a family home. We all had bad childhoods and we all have been friends since middle school. So when Seb turned 18 he bought this place and we moved in with him. We all get along fine. For the most part. Iz and Magnus go to collage for fashion design and interior design, Simon goes for computer art, I go for art, writing, and singing. Izzy, Jon, Seb, Jace, Alec, and I started a band years ago in high school. Also Magnus is going to be our manager. Iz is singing with me, Jon does the screaming parts and play guitar, Seb plays drums, Alec plays guitar, Jace does the rare piano pieces and he sings the calm parts in the back round. This year is just starting. I roll out of bed and go to my closet. Ugh I hate trying to pick something out for first days. I pull out my black dress. It's fabric on the top and then leather for the bottom. I pull out my maroon combat boots and lace them up. I put my dark maroon beanie on and grab my phone witch has a black back round with a white skull. My head phones I put around my neck and plug them into my phone. I sit down and take the beanie off so I can do my hair. I make it so that my hair is in soft curls down my back. I recently put black streaks into my red hair. I do my makeup then. I put my black eyeliner on and do a wing. Then I mix white light brown and dark brown eye shadows together. I put my mascara on and my blood red lipstick. I smile I'm showing off my tattoo's today. My right arm has a sleeve of roses white, red, blue, black. They are all bleeding and at the bottom is my mother's birth date and death date. The on my left arm I have a quote.'Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.' I love the quote it defines me. On my left leg I have 'Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun,not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul' also 'the fact they don't love you anymore isn't what hurts: what hurts is realizing they never did' I have 'You endure what is unbearable and you bear it that is all' all on that leg and on the other I have a tree and the roots have everyones names. I just got it colored in two weeks ago. It's a fall tree and all the names are different colors. Iz is pink, Magnus blue, Seb black, Jon green, Alec grey, Jace gold, Simon orange, and me I'm maroon. I walk down the stairs and knock on Jace, Seb, Jon, and Alec's doors to wake them up. Magnus is in the kitchen cooking and Simon is playing video games and I can hear Izzy listening to music.

"Mags please tell me you are making pancakes." I say.

"Of course Biscuit." Magnus says and turns around to kiss me on the head.

"Go wake the boys." Mags says and I nod my head yes. I head back up the stairs into Jon's room first he is up getting ready and so was everyone else. I eat my breakfast before I head to my motorcycle and head to school. I pull into my parking space and then head to the school building. Of course I get stopped by Cadence, Piper, Ava, Ethan, Liam, and Noah.

"Yes." I say annoyed.

"Don't talk to us like that." Ava says.

"Your the one's who stopped me."

"Oh shut up Clary your just some emo little girl." Liam says defending his girlfriend Ava. Now I was starting to get pissed.

"I'm not in the mood to deal with you people." I say walking away when I hear something crash. My eyes widen in fear and I turn around to see my bike on the ground. Cadence next to it.

"You bitch." I growl and fling myself at her. I punch her a few times in the face and then I tried to choke her. I felt someone pulling me off of her. I turn around to hit whoever was trying to get me up to see Jace.

"Clary calm down let's just walk away." Jace said.

"How did your mom die?" Ethan says and laughs out loud. Jace let me go then knowing there was no point.

"Say it again." I say in a low voice that got them all to back up.

"I SAID SAY IT AGAIN!" I scream. Jon and Seb come over to see the who was fighting. When they see me there they back away.

"He said how did your mother die, suicide?Cancer, killed, car crash?" Noah says and I smile. I walk up to him.

"None of your damn buisness." I say calmly and upper cut him. He grabbed a hold of my wrist. I turned around and I felt a sting in my cheek. I smile again he just doesn't want to stop. I kick him where the sun don't shine. I walk away and leave them to Jon Seb and Magnus. Jace follows me to see if I was okay. He knows I'm on the verge of tears. I get into the school and hug Jace. I won't let the tears fall but I want his arms around me.

"You want to practice in the music room for later today's band practice?" Jace asks and I nod. Jace and I don't have classes for the first two things and there was no music till the afternoon. Once we get there I give Jace the music sheet and I stand next to the microphone. I play guitar as I sing as well.

 _well fortune favors not the young spoken words and songs unsung right? i never learned from my mistakes._

 _i guess i dont have what it takes right? i wish that i could walk away all this time I've lost I fell cost repaid_

 _so save today the secrets that you prayed for and wait cause we deserve it so much more so save the secrets that you prayed for awake ill see you on the other side_

 _a tortured soul i have become it keeps me safe and leaves me numb right?_

 _cause in this dream im wide awake the one i love i did forsake right?_

 _i wish that i was wrong that youll come home again_

 _all this time ive lost ill never find again_

 _so save today the secrets that you prayed for_

 _and wait cause we deserve so much more_

 _so save the secrets that you prayed for awake_

 _ill see you on the other side_

 _say you can help me know (4 times)_

 _so save today the secrets that you prayed for and wait cause we deserve it so much more so save the secrets that you prayed for awake ill see you on the other side (2 times)_

I open my eyes to see Jace staring at me but we aren't alone anymore. There is a whole crowd in here.

"How did you guys get so good?" Someone asks.

"Practice." I say. They all crowd around Jace and I. J ace looks as annoyed as I am. Ethan walks out of the crowd and comes right over to me.

"Hi princess." Ethan says to me.

"Go the hell away and if you even call me princess again I will not only physically harm you but mentally too. More than you are already." I say. Jace wraps his arm around my waist and he drops me off at my art class. I start a sketch for a mural I'm doing. Then the class is over so I head to my other classes and soon the day is over. I head home and practice singing.

 _I can't fly but I keep finding myself soaring high above this I have nothing left but I keep pouring out like I am endless_

 _Impossible Impossible_

 _I don't run too fast but I'm looking back and miles and miles have passed I can barely breath but I'm singing out like this is nothing to me_

 _Impossible, woah, Impossible_

 _every morning I see another miracle I can't believe I'm living the impossible we are the signage and we are the wonder another day of living the impossible_

 _impossible impossible_

 _I choose to be alive especially because the odds say I should die I wrestle death again I know more of his moves now and I won't give in_

 _impossible, woah, impossible_

 _every morning i see another miracle i can't believe im living the impossible we are the signage and we are the wonder another day of living the impossible_

 _when im weak i wonder if im gonna be alright but too many times ive seen this all come to life if i make my self stop and remember_

 _every morning i see another miracle i cant believe im living the impossible we are the signage and we are the wonder another day of living the impossible ( 2 times)_

 _impossible._

I hear clapping behind me and turn around to see Seb, Jon, Jace, Simon, Magnus, Alec, and Iz.

"It took you forever to remember the lyrics!" Seb yells and I chase him. I end up falling on my face.

"Ow" I say and get up. I go back to the music room. I pull out my phone and look at my twitter. I see all the messages.

 _Clary is such a bitch!_

 _clary cheated on Jace with Ethan._

 _Ew what a slut!_

 _How can someone even date her I mean she is so ugly?!_

I drop my phone and the tears are streaming down my face. Seb goes for my phone with Jon while Jace comes over to me.

"Those bastards!" Seb yells and Jon holds him back from going to his car. I grab my bag and leave. I get onto my bike and head for the abanded park. I sit and draw the sunset. By the time I feel like I'm not going to cry it is pitch black out and the stars are shining. I get back onto my bike and head home. I go straight for Jace;s room. I go in and wake Jace up.

"Jace can I sleep in here tonight?" I ask quietly.

"Of course, come here Clare-bear." Jace says sleepily. I go onto the other side of the bed and go into Jace's arms. I snuggle into his chest. I fall into a fitful sleep. I wake up to Jace's phone. I look over at it. It's Ethan saying crap about me. I get up and get dressed. I put on a black mini skirt, dark grey crop top and my maroon combat boots and my beanie. I do my makeup how I did it yesterday same with my hair. I take my phone and bag and head downstairs. I eat a apple and Jace comes down the stairs.

"Morning." Jace says. I get up and walk towards the thing by the door where my keys are hanging. I pick them up.

"What did I do?" Jace asks. I flip him off and walk out and get onto my bike and drive to the school. I go to the art room. I finish my mural by the time my actual class starts. I start drawing another one.

"Mrs. Fairchild may I speak with you?" The teacher asks and I get up. I walk into the hallway with the teacher.

"Yes." I say.

"I love how your art is and how skilled you are so I think you should go for the more experienced art classes."

"Really you think I can draw like that?" I ask her.

"Yes I think you could graduate from this collage next year if you work hard."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet, thank me when you publish an art work."

"Okay." I gather my stuff and head for my next class. When I get there I forgot that I have this with everyone in the band. I go in and sit inbetween Jon and Seb. Jace comes over to us.

"What did I do wrong Clary?" He asks.

"Look at your damn phone Jace." I say. He pulls out his phone and looks at the messages from Ethan.

"Clary none of this ever happened, I didn't even respond to them."Jace says.

"So what your telling me is that you didn't tell them that I broke into tears after reading there comments, and oh you didn't tell them that I left and didn't come back until 11, you also didn't tell them how to hurt me. Like hell I would believe that Jace. You where the only person I trusted with those secrets so I know it was you." I say trying to fight back the tears.

"Leave her alone Jace." Seb tells him and he walks away. I get up and leave the class going to the tattoo place.

"Hey Paul can you do one right here." I say and point to the section between my index finger and thumb.

"Sure what do you want?" Paul asks.

"Lights will guide you home." I say and he gets to work on it. When he finishes I give him the money and leave. I head home and I go into my room and I read.


	2. Chapter 2

Today is the one day of the year that I don't do anything but stay in my room and cry. I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I don't say anything.

"Open the door Clary, you can't ignore me forever." Jace yells. I open the door, I have tears running down my face all my makeup is smeared form yesterday. Jace looks taken aback by my appearance.

"What's wrong Clary?" Jace asks.

"Look at a damn calender." I scream and slam the door closed in his face. I lean against the door and slid down until I'm on the floor. I let out a sob. I locked the door so no one can get in. Jace is pounding on my door.

"Let me in Clary! Jace yells.

"Go the hell away Jace your just making this worse!" I scream and start sobbing again. I can't breath properly.

"Jace move the hell out of the way." Jon yells. Jon's opening the door with the key.

"No leave me alone!" I yell still sobbing. It's getting really hard to breath. I start coughing.

"Clary open the door." Jon yells still trying to open the door. I can't breath at all so I open the door. Jon rushes into the room and drops to the floor and brings me to his chest.

"Breath Clary, you need to breath." Jon says as he brings my head down over his heart so I can feel the beat. I still can't breath I'm trying to but it's not working.

"Clary you really need to breath or else I'm going to have to give you the medication." Jon says worriedly. I can't breath. Jon starts cursing. He lifts me up and rushes me down the stairs. He gets the medication from the cabinet and makes me swallow it. I can finally breath again. Jon sits on the floor next to me and holds me.

"You can't scare me like that Clare-bear."Jon whispers just as the medication kicks in.

"Jon no no no don't let me sleep. Jon!" I yell but it's to late the medication is bringing me into a sleep.

 ** _dream_**

 _I opened the door and see my mother on the floor bleeding out. She shot herself in the head._

 _"Jon call 911!" I scream. someone drags me away from her body. I sit here that's all I can do. I cry and then her funeral. When the service is done my dad drags me and my two brothers to the house. He sent my older brothers to there room. Being the nine year old self I was I didn't think anything of it. Once the boys were up stairs and in there room, my father hit me across the face._

 _"It was your fault she killed herself." He screamed at me. I flinched away from him. He grabbed me and threw me into a wall. I screamed out in pain._

 _"Shut up you little bitch!" He screamed and I ran up the stairs and into Seb's room hiding under the bed. He was about to say something when dad came into the room._

 _"Where is the little brat?" He yelled._

 _"I think she went into her room." Seb lied for me. Dad walked out and Seb locked the door. I crawled out and my older brother held me while I cried silently so our father wouldn't hear me._

I woke up with a scream in my throat. I felt pressure in my right hand. I looked over to see Seb and Jon there both asleep. I took out my phone and looked at the time. It is only 10 am. I get up and go to my bedroom. I lay on my bed and cry. I try to draw but it reminds me to much of my mother. My phone rings. I pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello Clarissa." My fathers voice says and I drop the phone a scream in my throat. I scream at the top of my lungs. Seb and Jon come running into the room. I go behind my eldest brother Seb. He holds me while Jon talks to Valentine. Seb brings me to his room and Jon follows. We all sat in here not talking.

"Are you hungry Clary?" Jon asks me and I shake my head no.

"Clary you need to eat."Seb says.

"No I don't leave me alone." I say. Seb sighs but leaves me alone. I write lyrics in the silence.

 _Am i brave enough, am i strong enough to follow the desire that burns from within to push away my fear to stand where i'm afraid i am through with this cause i am more than this i promise to myself alone and no one else my flame is rising higher_

 _i am the fire i am burning brighter roaring like a storm and i am the one i've been waiting for screaming like a siren alive and burning brighter i am the fire_

 _i've been sacrificed my hearts been cauterized hanging onto hope shackled by the ghost of what I once believed that i could never be whats right in front of me_

 _i am the fire i am burning brighter roaring like a storm and i am the one i've been waiting for screaming like a siren alive and burning brighter i am the fire_

 _i don'_ _t believe i'll fall from grace wont let this past decide my fate leave forgivenesss in my wake take the love that ive embraced_

 _i promise myself me and no one else i am more than this i am the fire_

 _i am the fire i am burning brighter raring like a storm and i am the one i've been waiting for screaming like a siren alive and burning brighter i am the fire i am the fire i am the fire i am the fire i am the fire i am the fire_

I start to hum it.

"What are you humming Clary?" Jon asks and I show him the lyrics. Seb comes over to see what I wrote.

"Wow that's really good Clary." Seb says and I just nod my head. I get up and head to my room leaving my phone in Seb's room. I go into my room to see Jace sitting on my bed.

"Please get out Jace." I say to tired to yell. He gets up and wraps his arms around me.

"I never told them anything Clary I swear on the angle, I really want you to trust me again I was so scared today when you stopped breathing, I never ever want that to happen again. Please take me back." He pleads and I start crying on his shoulder I wrap my arms around him.

"Okay but if this happens again you know that I won't take you back again right." I ask him.

"It will never happen again." Jace whispers.

"Can I spend the night with you, I don't want to be alone tonight?" I ask him.

"Of course Clary, you know you can always spend the night in my room." Jace says and I grab my drawing book and a tale of two city's book.


	3. Chapter 3

Clary pov

I had nightmares. A lot but I knew they weren't just nightmares. It was the truth. Jace was there to calm me down though. I'm grateful for my whole family. I get up and head to my room to get dressed for the day. I pull on gray jeans a black t shirt a crop top over it saying 'I need coffee' and my combat boots. I grab my phone and head down the stairs. I eat breakfast and head to the school. I go to my new art class and start working on my project. My phone starts ringing. I get up and leave the room to answer it.

"Clary I need you to go home right know." Jon yells over the phone.

"What why?" I ask.

"Valentine is here looking for you, I'm coming to get you Seb,Jace and Magnus are with me." Jon says I start to shake.

"Clary answer me where are you?" Jon's yelling over the phone.

"Advanced art." I managed to choke out. I hear there footsteps and soon enough Jace is picking me up and bringing me to his car. He drives me home. I can't stop shaking. I'm violently shaking. Jace picks me up and brings me to his room and lays me down. I curl into a ball trying to hide from the worlds cruel reality.

"Clary you'r going to be alright, your safe he can never get to you again." Jace is saying but I don't believe it.

"I don't want to go back to that hell hole. Don't let him take me Jace!" I yell at him and Jace hugs me to him.

"I won't let him take you." He whispers. I cry more because I know no matter what Valentine always gets what he wants. No matter what. I hear a pounding on the front door making me more aware than anything what is about to happen. I pick up my phone and call 911.

"Hello 911 speaking what is your emergency?" The woman asks me.

"Our father is here, he is trying to bring us back to his house where he abused us for many years..." I say trying to continue but I can't Jace grabs the phone and talks to her. Once I hear the sirens I feel a safe calm wash over me. I guess Jon and Seb are trying to make him shut up and are wondering why the cops are here. I get up with shaky legs. I walk down the stairs to see them arrest him.

"I WILL BE BACK CLARY, ALL OF YOU, YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY!" Valentine screams at us and I shudder. Because it is true he will come back one day. All of us know it will happen. We may never be ready but he will come back and when that day comes I hope we will be okay enough to face him once and for all. Once we know they are gone we all let out a breath of relief. We don't have to be afraid of him for some time. JOn walks over to me and brings me into a hug.

"Wanna get a tattoo?" Jon asks and I nod my head. He laughs and we all go to the tattoo parlor. I walk in and Paul asks what I want and where.

"I want it on my wrist." I say pointing to my arm that has nothing on it.

"Are you sure you said you wanted to forever keep that arm off limits for tattoo's" Jace says and I nod my head yes.

"Jon can you write what I want?" I ask him and he nods and gets the paper.

"I have one life to live and I want true happiness." I say and Jon writes it down. I go into the back so Paul can do my tattoo.

"Why do you want to get that tattoo Clary you'v always been the quote girl not the screamo lyrics kinda girl." Paul asks me and I smile.

"I'm in a band with screamo parts but this is the one song that gets out there anger and has a meaning more than anything so that's why I need a reminder everyday to keep going. True happiness is my goal and to be totally okay. Hopefully one day I will reach those stupid goals. They are my dreams though and no one will ever take those away ever." I say and he nods to distracted by writing it to respond. Once he finishes I grin at him and he chuckles.

"Good luck with everything Clary." Paul says as I walk out to see everyone staring at me.

"Yes?" I ask and they all try to act like everything is normal."If you don't tell me I will beat it out of you guys." I say and Seb comes over to me. He wraps me in his arms and tightens his hold on me. I look at him worriedly. Jon walks over to me and looks me in the eye as Jace holds me on the other side just as tight as Seb.

"What is wrong with you guys?" I ask them and they all look down.

"Clary we had a sibiling." Jon says and I look at him weirdly.

"Of course we do it's always been us three." I say like they are the idiots.

"No Clary we had a younger sibiling." Jon says. "Our mother found out she was pregnant and that was one of the reasons..." He trails off as I start to struggle.

"Let me go right now."I say in a deathly calm voice.

"Clary we can't." Seb says and I turn around in his arms and bite . He loosens his grip on me and I try running. But Jace holds on tighter. I bite his hand and leave the tattoo parlor. I run down the street and turn the corner. I go a couple of more blocks and then go into the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

Clary pov.

The bartender lets me in. They know me very well. They also know my 21st birthday is in a couple of months so they let me drink. Not much but enough to get me drunk so I can be numb. I just keep asking for shots.

"Clary we can't legally give you anymore." He says.

"I'll pay you extra if you give me two more." I say my words coming out sluggish.

"She won't have anymore." Someone growls from behind me. The bartender nods his head and goes back to serving other people. I turn around to see Seb, Jon, Jace, Magnus, and Simon all standing there.

"Yes?" I ask them with a smile. Seb sighs and picks me up. I close my eyes and lean my head on his chest. Once I get laid down on my bed I feel someone lay down next to me. They hold me so close to there heart.

"Clary I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this. I'm sorry you think you have to do this alone. We are all here to help and support you, but you just push us away, or even worse go out and get drunk." Jace whispers to me thinking I'm asleep. I eventually fall asleep to Jace saying he loves me over and over again. Once I wake up I groan and turn away from the light and my face is hidden by Jace's chest.

"Do you want water and headache medication?" He asks and I nod my head. Once Jace gets back I take the medication and he also hands me a cup of coffee. I smile gratefully at him. Once we get downstairs I see Jon and Seb with bags under there eyes. Magnus looks weared out with no glitter or makeup. Simon is just sitting there staring into space. Izzy looks as dead as the rest of them. Alec is sitting there sipping coffee but looks just as tired as the rest of them.

"Clary's awake." Jace says and all of there heads snap up to see me and Jace standing there. Jon stands up abruptly. He walks over to me and hugs me. He then leads me over into the living room everyone follows us and sits down on the couches. Jon and Jace sit down next to me.

"Clary we all need to have a discussion." Seb says seriously and I sigh.

"Okay about what?" I ask him.

"We all think that it would be in your best interest to go see a therapist Biscuit." Magnus says and I look at them incrediliously.

"No." I say and get up.

"Clary sit back down." Seb says.

"No." I say and start to walk away.

"Clary sit the..." Seb starts to say harshly.

"Clary please just sit back down." Jace says and I sit back down not wanting Seb to get angry. I cross my arms over my chest and lean all the way back and I don't look at anyone.

"I'm fine I don't need some therapist, I am perfectly fine the way I am." I say still not making any eye contact.

"Clay we know your not fine. Why are you trying to hide it so much. We are your family we are here to take some of the burdens off of your shoulders. You don't have to be alone anymore. Please just let us help you." Izzy says.

"I said I was fine." I say but against my will a few tears stream down my face and fall into my lap.

"You aren't fine. You know how I can tell Clare-bear? You're crying right now that's how I can tell. You don't need to hide things from us anymore. We are your family when have we not been there for you?" Jon says and the tears start coming faster until they turn into sobs.

"I'M FINE!" I scream at them and then keep whispering it in between my sobs.

Jae pov.

See her like this is breaking my heart.

"I'M FINE." Clary screams and then whispers it to herself in between her sobs trying to convince herself more than us. I bring her into my arms trying to comfort her but she starts to punch me trying to back away from me. I look up to see Jon mouthing to me not to let her go so I nod my head.

"Clary baby please talk to us. Your our worlds don't destroy yourself like this." I whisper to her and she is still repeating that she is fine.

"Clary you'll be okay but you need to talk to us to we can help you." I say and she finally breaks.

"I have nightmares every night! I see my mother being killed every god damn night! I get tattoo's to ease the pain in my heart thinking that if I get hurt on the skin that it will stop hurting on the inside. But it doesn't work. I've tried everything, I have tried smoking. It doesn't work. Drinking numbs me and it feels so damn good. It hurts I can still feel the blinding pain from when he would hit me or whip me! I still have to see the scars! Every day of my life I see them even if they faded I have them on the inside too. People are cruel assholes. I can still feel his filthy hands all over me." She screams but breaks off sobbing. We all look at her with wide eyes.

"He raped me! Okay happy that you finally know? He raped me! He said if I ever told anyone he would kill all of you slowly right in front of my eyes! Do you understand how terrified I still am. He touched me in places I should have never been touched, while you guys were at practices or at sleep overs. It was hell for me why did you think I begged you to stay?!" She yells breaking into sobs. I bring her closer to me and rubbing soothing circles on her back. She looks up at all of them to see Izzy has tears streaming down her face. Magnus also has tears coming down his face, Alec looks furious. Seb is trying to hold back tears and the anger, and Jon well Jon is trying not to kill someone. He takes one look at his little sister and his eyes start to get glassy. I can feel the tears slipping from my eyes.

"I'm so-orry." Clary just barley gets out but everyone hears it because it is so quiet in the room.

"Clary you don't have to be sorry." Seb says coming over to us and bringing his little sister into his arms stroking her hair.

"Clary why didn't you ever tell us you told us about him hitting you?" Jon asks her and she looks at him.

"I never told you anything until today you all just made the right assumptions." She said and now that I think about it she is right she never did tell us anything.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Magnus asks and Clary looks down.

"Because Valentine never kids around, I almost told Seb and Jon, well that night both boys were at practice. He had cut me on my upper thigh with a steak knife. That was the night that I was sick with the 24 hour flue." She says to the boys and they look at her shocked.

"I almost bled out until the next day while you guys were at school he bought me to the hospital and told them that I was cutting something and our dog stepped on my foot so I dropped in by accident." Clary says and then pulls up her shorts just a little bit and we all see a jagged scar going right from one side of the leg to the other side of the leg.

"Clary he could have been arrested for this years ago." Izzy says and we all look at her like she was crazy."Seb wasn't 18 we would have had no where to go." Clary says quietly and we all nod our heads.

"Well can we get off this topic I want to watch a movie and order pizza."Clary says and so we do we sit adn watch 'the maze runner' 'the scorch trials' 'hunger games all three' 'divergent both movies' 'one narnia movie' 'two harry potter movies' and then we watch garfield like the childern we all are.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, Dearies. How do you like it so far? Please, fav and review.**

Clary pov.

I went upstairs to my room after our marathon of movies and shows. At around one a.m. and three nightmares I get up and get my pillow. I walk down the stairs and towards Jace's room. I open the door quietly and close it the same. I go over to his bed and lay down next to him. I place my pillow down on his bed and get under his covers. I bury my face into his chest. His arms go around my waist on instinct.

"What's wrong Clary?"Jace asks but I don't respond I just sniffle. Jace brings me closer to him and holds me while I let silent tears fall. I eventually fall asleep after Jace had calmed me down enough. I made him promise he would wake me up if I was having a nightmare. I slept for awhile until I felt someone shaking me. I open my eyes and see Jace leaning over me.

"Hmmm," I say trying to make him give me back the blankets.

"Clary you need to get ready for school." Jace says and I groan into the pillow. Jace laughs at me as I roll off of the bed.

"Ow," I say and it just makes him laugh harder. I glare at him and finally get up and go upstairs to my room. I put on my Black ripped skinny jeans and a white shirt. I put on my black and purple half sweater and zip it up. I do my hair so it is in soft curls down my back and then put a hat on backwards. It says I heart haters. I put on my black combat boots and then I do a smokey eye shadow. Simple mascara and then I grab my bag and out all my stuff in it. I then go downstairs to see everyone waiting for me. I grab my motorcycle keys and get on my way to school. I pull into my parking space at school and then I head inside. Jace wraps his arms around my waist as he catches up with me. We go to the music room and he sits at the piano. I sit on the bench with him as he plays and I sing.

The lights go out all around me one last candle to keep out the night and then the darkness surrounds me I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died and all that's left is to accept that it's over my dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made I try to keep warm but I just grow colder I feel like I'm slipping away,

 _after all, this has past I still will remain after I've cried my last there'll be beauty from pain though it won't be today someday I'll hope again and there be beauty from the pain you will bring beauty from my pain._

 _my whole word is the pain inside me the best I can do is just get through the day when life before is only a memory I'll wonder why god lets me walk through this place and though I_ can't understand why this happened I know I will when I look back someday and see how you've brought beauty from ashes and made me as gold purified through these flames,

 _after all, this has passed I still will remain after I've cried my last there'll be beauty from pain though it won't be today someday I'll hope again and there'll be beauty from pain you will bring beauty from my pain_

 _here I am at the end of me trying to hold onto what I can't see I forgot how to hope this night's been so long I cling to your promise there will be a dawn, after all, this has passed I still will remain after I've cried my last there'll be beauty from pain though it won't be today someday I'll hope again and there'll be beauty from pain you will bring beauty from my pain_

The piano stops and I close my eyes and lean on Jace's shoulder. He wraps his arm around my waist and then the bell rings. I get up slowly and then Jace walks me to my art class. He kisses me goodbye and goes to his class. Once I sit down people just stare at me. I take out my phone to see the latest news report. I call Seb, even though he is in class.

"Clary what's wrong? I'm in the middle of class here." Seb says.

"Have you seen the news?" I ask him and he goes silent.

"You knew." I say and Seb sighs.

"Yes little sister I knew that we were going to be summoned in court in a few days, but don't freak we need to move forward remember that okay look at your tattoo that will help you get through the day." Seb says and hangs up. I sigh but look at it. I take a deep breath and plaster on a grin. I start to sketch out a idea for an art project. The art teacher looks over my shoulder to see my drawing of an angel rising out of a lake with woods surrounding the lake. She calls over all of the other students to look at it. Some of them gap other let out a soft gasp.

"If you keep your work like this you will be an amazing artist." The teacher says and I nod and continue adding detail to it. I grab my colored pencils and start to color it all in. I do the shading perfectly. Once the bell rings I get up and grab all my stuff and go out the door to see Jace standing there with a grin on his face.

"Yes?" I ask and he laughs and kisses me on the mouth right in front of everyone. He then leans back and grabs my wrist half running half dragging me to our music class. Our whole band is there.

"What is wrong with all of you guys you all look so alive and happy." I say and Jon laughs.

"What?!" I ask them and Jon lifts me in the air and hugs me to death.

"We just got an offer to start an album because someone famous just heard you and Jace in the music room!" Jon yells and happy tears fall down my face. I'm jumping up and down like a little girl and trying to keep the screams of happiness in. I end up just giggling. Seb brings me into a hug and then all of us are hugging. We have come so far from high school bands. We are about to be the real deal!

 _And there are you guys chapter. Hope you liked it please fav and review._


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! I have missed writing for this story so I am going to be working harder on it. There is still a lot to this story and I am so excited to share all these ideas with you through words. Now I just read the reviews and I am so happy. So I wanted to thank someone who reviewed because I have been down somewhat.**

 **So thank you very much**

 **tyken... onto the story now.**

 _Clary's pov. 2 months after the album offer_

When we were all told about the album thing we were so happy. When we started working on it, it was amazing. Then it started to feel like work and not fun like it used to be. We would have many sleepless nights working on music and doing college assignments. We are working on the 6th song on the album, we are only doing 8 songs.

"Clary come on we need to go to school!" Jace yells from downstairs and I groan. I go to get up but when I do I feel a wave of dizziness wash over me. I fall onto the floor and bring a lamp down with me and the light bulb breaks and shatters and I land on the ground with a thump. I know I'm bleeding when I feel warm liquid run down my arm. I don't really feel it though it just feels like a sting, but then the dizziness stops and all the pain comes with it. I cry out in pain and tears run down my face.

I can hear people running up the stairs and I can see Jace, Jon and Seb run into my room. They look at me and then to the glass stuck in my skin on my legs and arms and then look into my eyes with concern. Jace picks me up and brings me into the bathroom and sets me down on the sink counter. He gets tweezers and starts to take the glass out of my skin.

"I'm sorry it's hurting Clary, but in the long run, it will feel better if I take it out." He says and I just nod my head through the tears because if I open my mouth to speak I'll probably scream. After he gets all the glass out and bandages all of the cuts we all sit down in the living room.

"What happened up there Clary?"Seb asks me and they all stare at me.

"I went to get up and I got really dizzy and I feel and brought the lamp down with me. But my vision turned to black and I couldn't feel anything until you guys heard me yell out in pain." I say and they nod their heads and count it off as just getting up too fast. So I go back upstairs and get dressed for school and off we go. Jace drives me because they don't want me driving just yet.

"Jace?"

"Yea Clare-Bear?"

"I have a really bad migraine can you take me home?" I ask him and he pulls over and puts his hand on my head.

"Shit, you have a fever! How did we not think to make sure you didn't have a fever." He then continues to talk to himself for awhile.

"Can we go home please?" I ask him again.

"Yeah sure, just let me text the rest of them." He says and I nod my head and rest my head on the window and begin to fall asleep.

Jace pov.

When I pull up to the house Clary is fast asleep so I carry her to my bedroom. I lay down next to her and fall asleep again but with Clary curled up to me. When I wake up it's only been a few hours and Clary is still fast asleep. So I get up and call the doctor, he said I could bring her in an hour from now. I shake Clary awake after 20 minutes.

"What." She snaps at me and I sigh.

"Clary you have a doctor appointment in 40 minutes. You need to get ready." I say quietly and she groans.

"I don't want to move my head is pounding." She says and closes her eyes tightly. I rest my hand against her forehead again and curse when I feel her skin on fire. It's worse than it was earlier.

"Come on Clary you need to go to the doctor right now," I say and she groans in pain and I help her sit up. I also help her stand up and she gets dressed and then I get her into the car. I drive us to the doctors' office and we go in. They take us in immediately and she gets checked over by the nurse and then they send the doctor in. When he comes in I'm worried sick about Clary and she's almost falling asleep.

"So what's going on?" He asks sitting on his chair.

"She has a fever and earlier she got up and her vision went black and she said she couldn't hear anything or feel anything until about 2 minutes after she fell and brought a lamp down with her," I say and he nods his head,

"Anything else?"

"I've got a migraine." She adds quietly and he nods and steps out of the room for a little while. He comes back into the room.

"My best advice is to just go home and get some rest. Take Advil or Ibuprofen and get some sleep. She probably got up too fast and fell and she's probably getting a cold," The doctor says and I nod my head. I bring Clary home and lay her down back on my bed. She had fallen asleep in the car again. I lay down next to her and text everyone that she'll be all right and it's just a minor cold.

Two weeks later Clary pov.

After being in bed sick for a week and not being allowed to work on music. We are rushing around to make everything good enough for the have to have it done soon and I am so exhausted recently. My body chose the wrong time to get sick and feel exhausted. I run to the music room to try one of the new songs.

"Are you guys ready?" I ask and they all nod theirs heads.

"Clary, you look really pale are you sure your alright?" Jace asks me and I nod my head and put on a fake smile.

"Yeah can we just get started with the song please?" I ask and they all nod their heads and go to their places. And the song starts.

 _(Clary - italicized, **Izzy - Italicized and bold,**_ **together is bold.** )

 ** _"Hold up, Oh no_**

 ** _Who let them in the door_**

 ** _It's like a freak show, shake it up like a photo_**

 _Hate_

 _Is only what you say, not what you mean_

 _And pain_

 _It's what's inside of me, not when your bleeding_

 _I will fall, I'll fall_

 _And take your breath away, we could change it all, and take your breath away_

 _This anger changes me, it affects the way I see_

 _Affects every part of me, and makes you my enemy_

 _But when it falls apart, and I can't remember why I ripped everything apart._

 **I'm still my own worst enemy, the world around me**

 **All can see what they want to see, I need some help**

 **Because I'm my own worst enemy, no matter where I am**

 **I'll still get the best of my, my own enemy**

 _ **Shake**_

 ** _The world inside of me, until it can't be shaken_**

 ** _Wake_**

 ** _the words inside of me, before it's all too late_**

 ** _I will fall, I'll fall_**

 ** _And take your breath away, we will_** ** _change_** ** _it and take your breath away_**

 _This anger changes me, it affects the way I see_

 _Affects every part of me, and make you my enemy_

 _But when it falls apart_

 _It's a brand new start, and I can't remember why_

 _I ripped everything apart_

 **My own enemy**

 **My own enemy"** When we both finished the song I just fell to the floor and cry. The boys made me sing it because I know every word because we said we wanted to do one cover song. They heard me sing it one day and wanted me to sing it on the album. The song was my only coping song for a while. It's not something I shared with anyone, they don't understand it. And they never will.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello, guys, I know that I haven't updated a lot recently. I'm going through a lot of medical problems right now. Anywho onto the story.**

 **Clary pov**

After the song, I got up from the floor and ran up the stairs and into my bedroom. I sit in there for a little while crying. Jace tried coming in but I kicked him out. I just wanted to be alone. My head was killing me and the lights were making it worse. So I get up and turn the lights off and then lay down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I hear Jon call me from downstairs for dinner and I get up.

When I get up my skin gets prickly and then I can't feel anything. My vision starts to go black. I can't hear anything. I'm not even aware of what's going on. I don't have control over my body at all right now. Suddenly my vision, sight, and hearing come back at once and I feel warm liquid run down from my forehead. I get up from the floor and bring my hand up to my head, when I pull my hand away I see my blood.

"Shit," I say and I rush to get up and get to the bathroom but I get really dizzy and fall to the floor.

"JACE!" I yell and I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. He rushes into the room and sees me on the floor holding my head.

"What's wrong Clary?" He asks and turns the lights on. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to block the light out.

"I'm bleeding, I can't get up and please turn that light off," I say and he turns the lights off and walks over to me. He picks me up and brings me to the bathroom and sits me down on the counter. He starts to wipe away the blood with a washcloth. Then he puts peroxide on it and then a band aid.

"What happened, love?" He asks and I sigh.

"My head was killing me and I got up and then I couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. I fell and hit my head on something. My head is still killing me, and when I stood up again I got really dizzy." I say and he nods his head.

"Let's go get dinner I'm starving." He says and I nod my head yes in a silent okay. We walk down the stairs and go into the kitchen. But the lights are too bright. I squeeze my eyes shut again.

"Jace turn the lights off please they're too bright," I said and he said okay and shut them off. But it's not helping at all. I sit on the floor bringing my knee's up to my chest. I have tears running down my face because it hurts so much. I hear everyone laughing in the dining room but it's too loud.

"Jace it's too loud it hurts." I sob out and he rushes out of the kitchen and gets everyone to shut up. Everyone is worried now and Jace comes back in.

"Clary you need to calm down. I'm going to bring you to the hospital, okay?" He asks and I continue to sob because it hurts too much to answer. I get carried by Jace out to his car and I know that Jon and Seb are taking a different car. I continue to cry loudly trying to make it go away. I have never been in this kind of internal pain before. Soon it hurts too much to even think anymore. The only thoughts running through my head are for it to stop hurting so much.

"Jace it hurts." I cry and he grabs my hand and starts to rub circles into it.

"I know, I know it hurts. But the doctors are going to help you okay." He says but I can tell that he is freaking out. I grip onto his hand because it hurts so much. I start to sob more because it suddenly got worse. We pull up to the hospital and Jace gets out and comes to my side of the car. He picks me up and brings me into the hospital. Jon and Seb are right behind us. When the nurses see me they rush me in. I get hooked up to an iv and they put an oxygen mask over my face and then my vision slowly goes black.

Jace pov.

Once we got to the hospital they put an iv in her arm and then put her under with anesthesia. She was freaking out too much and she was going to hurt herself if she stayed awake any longer. It hurt to look at her in pain and to hear her sobbing in the car when I could do nothing to help her. It hurt a lot more than anything else did. Once they put her under anesthesia the nurses came over to talk to us three. They asked us if there was any medical history for her and we explained that she was abused. Then I told them everything that happened before I brought her here.

"We really can't do anything other than run a couple of tests." She said and we nodded our heads and went to sit in the room with her. I grabbed her hand and the boys sat on the other side of her.

"What do you think that was?" Jon asks and both Seb and I shrug.

"I honestly don't know. I didn't know what to do. she just kept crying and crying in the car and I couldn't get her to calm down. It was terrifying knowing that I couldn't do anything to help her while she was in so much pain." I said and they both nodded.

"I don't know what to do. I'm the oldest one here and I can't even help my baby sister how bad of an older brother does that sound? I couldn't even help her through the years of the abuse, I was absolutely oblivious. And now this I really should get the worse brother award." Seb says and we all look up at him surprised. He had tears streaming down his face and he was holding Clary's other hand.

"We all want to help her. But we all have to be strong for her as well. We are all just as clueless as you are Seb, we all are. Even Clary doesn't know what's really going on. I just wish I could give her all the answers but I can't, so we are going to do our best to get those answers for her as fast as we possibly can. No matter what." Jon says and we all nod our heads in agreement.

 **Hey guys sorry it's been so long. Honestly I think I updated more in the school year than in the summer. So school is starting in 6 days and I can't wait. I can finally get back into a schedule. But I promise you all that I will not make you wait long inbetween chaoters anymore. I am going to realy start trying to get at least one chapter out a week.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, guys, I am updating again. Truthfully I do not know what this chapter is going to hold so yeah. Good luck because I like to make other people's lives suck.**

Jace pov.

After a little while, the nurses came in and took vials of blood from Clary. They had Seb singing her papers and stuff. After a while, she woke up and asked us to turn the lights off because the were too bright so we dimmed them.

"Jace my head hurt a lot." She kept saying every ten minutes.

"I know baby they are running tests to see what medication we should give you." I would say into her hair because she made me get onto the bed with her. I was sitting behind her and she was sitting in my lap crying. I begged her brothers to go get some food for everyone and they finally agreed after an hour of persuasion.

"Clary, does it still hurt?" I ask her and she nods her head just a little bit so I know that it does. I rub her back and she continues to cry into my shirt. Jon and Seb get back with food and we all eat silently. Once we finish the nurse comes in with a doctor.

"Clarissa are you okay with everyone here, hearing this conversation?" The doctor asks and she nods her head yes.

"Well from the tests that we took there is nothing that is causing these migraines. My best option for you is to take Advil for it and if it gets worse come back." He said and we all looked at him like he was crazy.

"She's crying because it hurts so much. How is there nothing wrong with her!" Seb shouts and Jon grabs his arm.

"We don't see anything in her blood or on the cat scan that we took. She looks perfectly healthy to me." The doctor said and we all sighed we aren't getting anywhere here.

"You can sign out whenever you are ready to leave." He says and walks out. The nurse takes the iv out and everything else off of her. After that, we bring her home. She's asleep by the time we pull up so I carry her up to my room and lay her down. I get changed and then lay down next to her. I bring her closer to me and that's how I fall asleep.

Clary pov.

I wake up at 12 in the afternoon with Jace's arms around me holding me tightly. My head is killing me and it hurts to open my eyes. So I just close them and snuggle into Jace's warm chest.

"Good morning Clary," Jace says into my hair and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Morning Jace," I say and he can tell immediately something is wrong with me.

"Does your head still hurt?" He asks and I nod my head yes.

"I'm getting you Advil and food okay?" He asks and I nod my head. He gets up and I snuggle more into the blanket not wanting to move. Jace comes back up after a while with cereal and Advil with orange juice and coffee.

"You are a life saver," I say and he chuckles quietly. After I finished eating and taking the medication we both laid back down. I rested my head on his chest like it was my personal pillow. I rested my hand right below my face on his chest. His one hand is playing my hair while the other is wrapped around me. Both of our legs are tangled and we have the blankets over us. I'm trying my hardest not to fall asleep but when he starts humming there is no use in trying to stay awake.

When I wake up again it's dark in the room and no one is next to me. But I hear the shower running so I guess Jace is taking a shower. I continue to lay on his bed wide awake. When he comes back into the room he's shirtless and only in sweat pants.

"Hello, sleeping beauty. how was your rest?" He asked jokingly.

"It was amazing," I said and leaned over and kissed him. My headache finally went away.

"Can we go get dinner?" I asked and he nodded his head kissing my temple.

"Go get dressed and I'll bring you to Taki's." He said and I nodded and ran up the stairs. I threw on black shorts with rips in them I black skin tight crop top that says 'just breathe' and my leather jacket with my maroon combat boots and my maroon beanie. I rush down the stairs and Jace meets me at the door.

"You look gorgeous as always." He said and I kissed him. We both got into his car and he drove to Taki's. When we got there we went in and ordered. Once we were seated it was quiet between us.

"I'm sorry about last night I didn't mean to worry you or anybody else," I say looking down at my hands.

"No no no no, there is no reason to be sorry. It is our job to worry about you. Clary. You should never apologize for something you don't have control over." He said lifting my face to look at his. I looked him in the eyes and I nodded my head.

"I love you, Jace," I say and he looks at me and smiles that heartbreaker smile.

"I love you too Clary." He whispers and then kisses me sweetly and then the food comes. After we eat we go back tot eh house and all of us sit and watch movies. No matter how much we need to do, we need a break for a little while just a little while.

 **All right here are the brand new chapters guys. I wrote this not even an hour after the last update so I think it's good. This chapter is just a little filler. I couldn't really think of what else to write. So until next time good night' morning have a great daay or night.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello,** **guys, I am trying to update a lot more in the next few days before school starts. This is me picking up the slack from summer. Anywho on with the story.**

 **Jace pov.**

After the movie marathon, Clary had fallen asleep on me. So I stood up and carried her upstairs to my room. I laid her down on the bed and got changed. I got into bed with her and brought her closer to me. She rested her head on my chest absentmindedly. I started to run my fingers through her hair and I started to hum one of our songs.

We have all been so worried about her recently. She's always so tired and she always looks so broken. We just want what's best for her. But I think everything is stressing her out right now. She's getting sick non-stop and we have the album to do, she has projects for art class. There is just too much on her plate right now.

"Jace, are you awake?" She mumbles quietly.

"Yeah, what's up?" I ask her.

"My head hurts I can't sleep." She says and I nod my head.

"Okay, what do you want to do?" I ask her and she just looks up at me.

"Can you just continue to play with my hair and hum, please?" She asks and I nod my head yes.

"Of course, anything for you Clary," I say and kiss her forehead. I start to hum again and I continue to play with her hair until I hear her breathing even out. After that, I slowly drift off to sleep.

 **Clary pov.**

When I woke up Jace was gone. So I got up and went to my bedroom. I went into my closet and got dressed in ripped skinny jeans and a long sleeve maroon shirt. I put on my maroon combat boots and my leather jacket. I grab my bag and run down the stairs. I grab my phone from the counter and rush to my art class. I woke up an hour late. I get on my bike and rush to the school.

I run down the hallways and go to my art class. I get there a little bit late but that's okay the teacher is late too. And she gets in about a minute after I do. We have a new project to work on. We have to make a drawing of our past. What happened and how it affected us in the long run. What made us who we are today. Everyone in the class groaned but me and a few others. I can't wait to get this project started. I get to show people how I became who I am today no matter how gruesome my past is.

So I started to think of how I was going to lay it out and all the colors and what I was going to draw and how I wanted it to come out. The class was over before I knew it. I went to the music room and everyone was there. I walk over to Jace and slap the back of his head.

"Ow, Clary what was that for?" He says rubbing the back of his head.

"For making me late. You didn't wake me up." I say and he laughed.

"I'm sorry but you looked to calm for me to wake you up. And when the alarm clock went off you told me if I didn't shut it up you would snap my neck in your sleep." Jace said and I laughed that sounded like something I would say.

"That's your fault what time did you set it for?" I asked and he chuckled nervously.

"5:30 a.m," He said and I looked at him like he was crazy

"Of course, I would snap your neck if you're trying to wake me up that early in the god damn morning idiot," I say and then sit down next to him because the teacher comes in. This class went by so fast it wasn't even funny. Once the class is over I get up and walk to my bike.

"Babe wait up!" Jace yells for me so I turn around and stop, waiting for him to catch up. Once he gets to me he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a kiss.

"What was that for?" I ask and he laughs.

"For always being you." He says and we both chuckle. I lean up and kiss him again. In the distance, I hear my older brother Seb yell for us to get a room. I pull away and look at him.

"Are you sure you want us to do that Sebby?" I question and his face goes bright red.

"No don't d-do that! Please!" He says and I laugh with Jace.

"So question when do we go back to rehearsing for the album? I ask Jace.

"Tomorrow." He says with a sigh and I totally understand because I really don't want to either.

"At least it's not today right?" I say and he nods. We are all around my bike now and we are trying to figure out what we want to do.

"Why don't we just stay in and relax before we have to record again, and life gets even more hectic?" Simon says questionably. I chuckle at his tone of voice and nod my head yes.

"Yeah, let;s do that! Let's be lazy people. But we need ice-cream and cookie dough." I say and everyone laughs and nods and we all start to head to the house, while Simon goes to get ice-cream and cookie dough. Once we get to the house I go up to my room and put sweatpants on and one of Jace's old shirts. I then go back downstairs and curl up on Jace's lap. He has his arm wrapped around my waist and I have the back of my head resting on his chest. After about 5 hours of none stop movies, I start to get a migraine.

I hide my face in Jace's chest and grip his shirt in my fists, in pain. I start to cry from the amount of pain I am in. Jace gets up holding me and brings me to his bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and pulls away.

"No, don't leave me please," I beg him.

"I'm not leaving baby girl, I'm getting you meds. I'll be back in a couple of seconds." He says while pushing the hair out of my eyes. I nod my head and he gets up and he leaves the room. That's when suddenly the migraine got worse. I pull my knee's up to my chest and start to bawl my eyes out. It hurts more than anything I have ever felt and that says a lot. It feels like someone if trying to pound on drums but instead found the inside of my head.

"Clary you need to take these," Jace whispers next to my ear trying to get me to look up, he's pulling at my arms that are covering my face. I look up at him and take the pills. Jace lays down next to me and I lay down, mostly on top of him trying to calm down but the tears just won't stop because I am in so much pain. I'm clutching onto Jace's shirt, sobbing. He's running his hand through my hair and down my back, over and over again, trying to calm me down. It doesn;t work and eventually I cry myself to sleep.

Jace's pov.

After she falls asleep I stay still not chancing waking her. I feel useless, I can't make her pain stop, at all. The doctors are obviously wrong, there is something wrong that they just aren't seeing. There has to be. She can't be in this much pain if there is nothing causing it. I wish I could fix this for her. But I can't so I'm going to be the person to hold her through all of this.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Okay, hi, guys. The whole point of this story was about Clary. But there is so much more to her, for me. In this story, I am telling you guys what is happening. This is how my story is going to be written. Because I have either experienced it or I have seen it happen to other people. When I wrote about the whole abuse thing, I wasn't as experienced as I am now. I can say I still have a long way to go, for learning. But with all of her pain, it's going to all tie together in the end. I suffer from chronic migraines. The symptoms are endless for these. I go through what Clary is going through on a daily basis, so it is real. I wrote this story to get all my pent up emotions out. I just thought I should fill you all in because I got a comment on how this is not believable anymore. It is, I swear to you all. Life throws things at people, some more than others. So if you don't find it believable please just don't read my stuff because all of my stories are about someone either having a bad past, bad time in the present, or both. And the things I write about are sad, I get that but I like to write about this stuff. You don't have to read it if you do not wish to. Anywho onto the story..._**

Jace pov.

I wake up in the middle of the night, hearing sobbing coming from the bathroom. I quickly get out of bed and go into the bathroom to see Clary on the floor holding her head sobbing, in a ball. I sit down on the cold tile and bring her into my arms. She clutches onto my t-shirt sobbing still, from the amount of pain she is in. I try rubbing her back to get her to calm down and it just isn't working.

"Clary you need to calm down.,I whisper and she starts to cry more, clutching her hair almost ripping it out.

"J-Jace it hurts." She cries out and I bring her closer to me and lift her up. I walk out into the hallway and go to Seb's room. I knock on the door and I hear him groan in annoyance from being woken up at 2 a.m.

"Why the fuc-" Seb starts to growl out until he see's Clary in my arms.

"I need you to drive us to the hospital, and not the one we were at the other day," I say and he nods his head going back into his room to get dressed and get his phone. I walk down the stairs and outside throwing a coat over Clary and get into the car. Seb rushes out a few minutes later and gets in and starts driving. Clary is biting her lip to keep from screaming. I just sit her down in my lap rocking us back and forth.

Clary pov.

Jace is rocking us back and forth and I'm biting my lip so I don't scream out in pain. I feel pins and needles in my arms and legs, and every time I open my eyes there are black spots in my vision. All of a sudden, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"Jace, pull over I'm going to be sick," I whisper and he gets Seb to pull over. I try getting out of the car but I fall to the ground immediately, and my vision goes black. I can't hear or feel anything. When I can I lean forward and get sick in the grass. Jace pulls my hair back and ties it into a messy bun, with a hair tie. Seb is running my back when the migraine gets ten times worse and I cry out in pain clutching my head.

"Seb how far away is the hospital?" I hear Jace ask him.

"Not even 5 minutes away," I hear Seb reply and then I feel Jace picking me up and bringing me back into the car and I feel us speeding down the street until we are at the hospital. Jace rushes me in and I'm crying and trying not to scream while Seb fills out my information. They take me in immediately and give me medication, trying to get me to calm down. Jace holds my hand the whole time while they take blood and put mediation in through the iv. I absolutely hate needles and Jace knows this, well everybody who knows me knows this. Well, I hate doctors too, but I don't get a lot of choice in this matter.

"Jace it hurts." I cry and squeeze his hand and he calls for a nurse to come in here.

"Can you give her medication that works! She's crying out in pain and has been for more than an hour. She has gotten sick, she couldn't stand because her limbs felt numb, she couldn't see, hear, or even feel! She has a migraine that keeps coming back and we already went to an er and they said nothing was wrong with her when obviously there is something wrong and we want to find out now." Jace says and she nods her head and walks back out to get medication and gives it to me through the iv.

"Jace, I hate it here. They never find out what's wrong with me. Take me home. I'm in the same pain here as I am at home. Please take me home." I cry and he sits on the bed and brings me to his chest. After awhile the pain medication starts to kick in and I get really drowsy. I feel exhausted and I want to sleep so bad.

"Clary just go to sleep I'll wake you up when the doctor comes in okay?"

"Okay," I whisper and close my eyes, falling to sleep only a few moments later.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, guys, I am so so so sorry for taking so long to update. I have been going through a lot of medical problems and a lot of school problems. And my laptop crashed so I had to get a new one. Please don't be mad at me. I'm trying my hardest to fix my other stories while getting chapters out and getting my grades up and dealing with medical problems and it is very stressful.**

Jace pov.

Once Clary fell asleep Seb had come into the room and handed me a coffee. Seb sits down in the chair while I continue to sit on the bed and hold Clary while she sleeps.

"So what do you think this is Jace?" Seb asks quietly.

"I honestly have no clue Seb. I just want it fixed. We have so much that needs to be done with college and music."I say.

"You only care about the music and college? Not about her getting better?" Seb asked me shocked.

"No, I want her to get better. I really really do. But she is going to stress so much about everything, and you know it just as well as I do."I snap at him and pull Clary closer to me.

"Can we not do this right now Jace it is too early in the morning and we are in the hospital for my baby sister, and I do not feel like fighting right now." Seb snaps at me and I roll my eyes but keep my mouth shut. After a few hours, we get a call from Jon wondering where we are. An hour after that phone call the doctor came in so we woke up Clary.

"So what is wrong with me?" Clary boldly asks him and he pulls a chair over and sits down on it facing her directly.

"We checked all the blood tests, and nothing looks to be wrong. I want to help you I really do my wife suffered from migraines. What I have to ask you is if you have ever been in a place where you were being abused?" The doctor says and Clary looks down and grabs my hand.

"Yes, our father abused her for years." Seb states and the doctor nods his head in understanding.

"It might be caused by depression. You might be too stressed or have anxiety. There are many things that it could be. So I am going to send you to a doctor who will put you on either depression medication or anxiety medication, and a therapist." The doctor says and Clary freezes and doesn't say a word.

"When can I leave?" Clary asks sharply.

"You can sign yourself out now if you would like." He says he gets a nurse to take the iv out of her arm and she signs herself out.

"Let's go." She says sharply and Seb and I both look at each other like oh shit. I sprint after her to catch up to her and pick her up and hug her.

"Clary you need to calm down," I whisper in her ear and that's when she started to struggle against me.

"Let me go, Jace!" She yelled as she struggled against my hold.

" No babe I can't because I can't risk you getting hurt because you mean the world to me," I say to her and she finally stops and she starts to cry. Simple crying turns to sobbing and it breaks my heart to hear.

"I'm not fucking depressed! I don't have fucking anxiety!" Clary yells as she sobs into my chest, I rub her back trying to calm her down.

"It isn't a bad thing Clary," I say while rubbing her back and she rips herself from my grip.

"Of course you would say that! You don't understand it Jace, I can't have that stuff. I have to be perfect."

"Clary you don't have to be perfect at all, who told you tha- Valentine did didn't he?" I ask her and she freezes and looks down hugging herself.

"Clary he can't rule you anymore! He can't control you anymore, he is locked away in jail!" I shout and she flinches.

"Jace leave her alone," Seb says and rushes forward and brings her into his arms. I groan and walk around the corner and punch the wall for being an idiot.

"Jace come on we are going home," Seb shouts. I groan and get in the back of the car while that two of them are in the front seat. We all sit in silence except for the soft music in the background from the radio. When we pull up to the house Clary rushes out of the car and runs into the house probably running to her room. I get out and storm up to my room not wanting to deal with her right now. Seb kinda just goes to his room to sleep.

She won't listen, she won't believe she is safe and I don't know what to do to stop her from feeling that way. She's closing herself off and that is never a good thing. I don't know how to help her without getting pissed off. I love her very much, but she aggravates me to no extent sometimes. I want to solve all of her problems for her. I never want her to get hurt, and yet that's all that seems to happen to her. She's tired of it and so am I but we both have no clue what to do. We don't have parents to lead us. We have each other and sometimes we are all ignorant children in certain subjects.

I fall onto my bed, trying to get her out of my head for right now. After about an hour I fall asleep after my mind can't take anymore thinking about anything. It's only a few hours until I'm awoken to someone softly knocking on my bedroom door.

"Jace can I come in?" Clary asks softly but her voice breaks giving away that she was crying.

"Of course Clary. Come here, I'm sorry for everything earlier." I say as she walks into my rooms and silents closes the door. I can see the tears fall down her cheeks. I move to the other side of the bed so she could get on the bed and have room. She lays next to me on her side and we both just face each other. No words being exchanged just sitting in each other company but in our own minds.

"I l-love you," Clary whispers with tears falling down her face. I wipe her tears away and lean down and kiss her softly on the lips.

"I love you too Clary and nothing will ever change that, okay?" I whisper back to her resting my forehead against hers as my hand cups her cheek with my thumb brushing her cheek back and forth making sure their is no trace of any tears left.


	12. NOT A CHAPTER

**This is not an update!**

I am sorry that there are so many grammar mistakes. I am a 8th grader. I am not perfect with writing. And really not trying to be mean? So you go and make statements that are mean. Also if you are going to comment about grammar make sure you are grammatically correct. Clary gets hurt a lot in this story because that's life. Life is going to punch you in the gut, leave you breathless on the ground and then kick you a few more times, yet there is nothing you can do about it. Yes it does go to fast I will agree with that. I also know that a lot of editing will go into this story. When I wrote the last maybe 7 chapters I was never in a good mindset. I have been super busy lately with school and trying to get into a high school. But seriously if you are going to comment on my story and say that I am not grammatically correct then I suggest that you look at you're own words. I know I am not grammatically correct in most of what I write and I have been working on it.


	13. NOT A CHAPTER!

Hi guys! I know it has been for longer than it should have been. I'm not going to give you excuses. I honestly haven't logged on in a very long time. But currently I will be re-writing this story now that I am back. I will be fixing a lot of things in here. There are major grammatical errors that are going to be fixed. I will also be cutting the more outrageous things that I put in here. I will be fixing my mistake of forgetting about somethings. I will also be adding more or less to what people say and I will be re-wording a majority of this story. I am currently already working on re-writing the first chapter. I will not re-post anything until I finished re-vamping all of the chapters. I can only say that I hope to get the first couple of chapters done within this month and the begging of next month, but please understand that this will take time and I have major competitions coming up that I need to train for and I will be leaving the country in 3 weeks, so I won't promise anything other than that I am working on getting it done so I can continue this work, I would like to thank anyone who has stuck with me this long. I am sorry it has taken me this long to come to my sense.

-Carre


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